Community Q&A When love turns sour and depression sets in, is there a way out?There is most certainly; everyone has the capacity to reach deep inside and find a way through love gone wrong, or unrequited love.While not everyone’s experience is the same, when people have a major depressive episode, generally the world looks, feels, and is understood completely differently than before and after the episode.During a major depressive episode, the world can literally seem like a dark place.Yes, giving back is important, but only when a person is healthy enough to hold a ladle at a soup kitchen. Because 1) I don’t have the money to shop at Whole Foods, and 2) although I know that my diet affects my mood, and the more organic the better, I resent your telling me that my Frosted Flakes is what’s causing power outage in the left frontal lobe of my brain. Yet anyone who has been in a relationship with someone who’s depressed knows how no hero exists who’s more powerful than depression.
The person can’t remember feeling the love, and can’t feel it during the episode, and thus concludes he or she never felt it.
Their tone of desperation or self-sacrifice may turn people off.
The hopelessness and defeatism are very frustrating for loved ones.
Because, while optimism is certainly important in training the brain, studies have shown that people who are severely depressed or acutely anxious only activate their amydalas (fear center of the brain) by forcing positive thinking 2. You need to hint at it, but not put it directly on the table, or else the person may very well take up kick-boxing and practice with you.
Upon hearing this, I wanted to throw a life-size figure of Tony Robbins at them. However telling someone that they need to exercise is a little like telling someone their butt looks fat in those jeans.