Commitment phobia is something I see in my office often and happens to both women and men. This is often not conscious and going on at the deepest level of the sub consciousness.
You can spot a commitment-phobe a mile away only if you know what you are looking for.
Basically, they are looking for perfection; which is what they erroneously feel would make them happy, in control and ultimately emotionally safe.
When they find someone that they feel would measure up the push/pull journeys begin. You know what I am talking about: The person is fully present and ensconced in compliments and sweet nothings, and then they don’t call for four days. When the commitment-phobic person is there, they are thinking at the back of their mind about their backdoor way out at all times.
Some men become comfortable in their lives and they don't like change.
They run away from the idea of marriage or any type of serious commitment, and their escapism generally takes a toll on the relationship.Once they “get” the person, it becomes less interesting for them. They are consumed with picking out the negative traits in the other person in a meticulous fashion.I am not saying people should ignore negative traits or stay in relationships they’re not happy with, but with the commitment-phobic person, this endeavour of seeking out negative traits in the other person is particularly acute and almost an obsessive process.While it may be better than the life he has now, he doesn't know for sure and that is what keeps him from moving forward.Some men think committing themselves to a relationship means they must meet certain expectations.