I am well aware that I am damaged and need a little repair before I can find a healthy relationship that is good and that lasts. You’re not necessarily responsible for how you got there; you are responsible for how you stop it. Ones with healthy self-esteem, solid jobs, and positive relationships. Surround yourself with slackers, or druggies, or people with any sort of self-destructive tendencies, it will be doubly hard to raise yourself from that morass. It’s going to take therapy to excavate and reconcile your childhood issues. This goes for women with serious relationship issues.
You can lose your looks or you can have a crisis in your life that makes you screw up and lose your job. Hauck teaches people self acceptance rather than self esteem.
He estimates that for every 50 women he expressed interest in, only one would swipe right on him.
“People can feel worse when using Tinder because it’s such a meritocracy for hot people …
If you treat yourself as unimportant, chances are you will be treated as such by your mate.
If you are stingy with yourself, be it in terms of time, money or attention, you will most likely attract a lover who lacks generosity toward you.
How much effort you put forth in your dating relationships may have more to say about how much you like yourself rather than how much you like your partner.
Wanting connotes sufficiency and desire; needing connotes insufficiency and dependency.
"I need" creates a vacuum effect that forces you to clutch, grab, cling and consume; "I want" creates an openness that enables you to explore, consider, and shape the relationship you desire.
But I’m not a supermodel (that’s perfectly clear and I’m not making any excuses.) I’m a curvy girl. I’m a chronic offender of settling for a sexual relationship to make myself feel ‘wanted’ and also of accepting the wrong men (great advice, by the way) because I feel that is the only way I can get men to really want me. How can I start believing that I am worth more than I give away? This is not easy, but it’s the easiest thing you have to do. This goes for those who are sexually inexperienced.
I’m working on it slowly, attempting to build my self-esteem and self-confidence enough so that I get to the point where I can go out into the dating world unafraid of what I have to offer. Therefore, my question for you is: What can or should I do to build up my confidence and feel secure and attractive when I approach men? Just as a smoker is responsible for stopping smoking, despite the physical and emotional addiction to the process, you have to make a choice to no longer tolerate bad behavior on the part of men. The only thing you lose is the toxic energy that you’ve allowed to swirl around you for so many years. That’s one of the hardest parts of being in your early 20’s – everyone’s so screwed up and finding themselves, there are few role models to be found. You need to mirror the behaviors of good decision-makers with high self-esteem in order to break your cycle. If you do this, you will have taken care of the external by minimizing your interaction with bad men and bad friends. It’s going to take weight loss – not just for its obvious effects on your dating, but for your health and self-esteem as well. This goes for shy people with no confidence in talking to others.